Although I haven't been on top of blogging, I have still be active in my yoga progress these past few days! I feel like I've been procrastinating on my homework- even though this is far more fun than typical "homework". This weekend was just one thing after another, starting with birthday celebrations all day Saturday, and I have just had a hard time fitting in all my dedications!

(*Right - the birthday-party-day breakfast made by Jon <3 black bean gumbo with hunks of avocado, avocado toast, peppered tomatoes, french toast, and grapefruit mimosas)

It has been an incredible 4 days though, with a whirl wind of emotions. This weekends practice brought up a whole bunch of feelings, and I felt pretty weakened by most of them. It wasn't so much that particular memories or experiences came back to me, but a feeling of hopelessness came over me whenever I had an extra moment to myself. I think the verdict of the Treyvon Martin case didn't help that as well. However I couldn't mentally articulate what exactly it was that was making me feel less than usual self, it was just a feeling.

(*Left - the ceiling of Bareburger- where a bunch of friends and I had my birthday dinner Saturday night)

Sunday night's class changed all of that though. I ended up taking a class I had never taken before with the owner of Sacred, who I know but I have also never taken a class by. The only thing I knew was that it was a heated hour and a half and that there would be few words and mostly music. She began by saying the theme for the class was healing, and that the soundtrack she chose was geared towards finding a healing inner power within us. We were encouraged to sing with the songs as well :)

(*Below - the delicious smelling honeysuckle of Hattie Carthan Community Garden - the garden we will now be getting a weekly produce basket from every Saturday)
The intention spoke very strongly to me, because it was EXACTLY what I needed. Instead of letting any negative thoughts of how weak or tired or frustrated or sad I had been feeling during the weekend come up, I focused on finding the strength from each movement to heal whatever it was that was hurt. I wasn't mental, it was just a feeling. And it was the entire bikram flow that I know so well from the beginning of my practice years ago. The whole class ended up being a reminder of why I began practicing yoga and why I continue to do so.

(*Below - a chilled beet, avocado, cashew cream soup with peppermint I made for dinner. It's been so hot here only cold food sounds appetizing. The beets and peppermint were both from our local produce basket <3)


Yoga is not about being flexible, it's not about being able to do all the poses in every class, and it's not even about being physically strong. It's about meeting yourself where you're at, and encouraging yourself to find the strength to be your best self and continuing to do better. It's about recognizing where you've been hurt (whether by yourself or by someone else), forgiving that person, and allowing yourself to heal- to really heal. And it's about feeling the connection between your choices, your environment, and everything within and around you and knowing that the beginning of you making a difference starts with you loving yourself and being true to your self, because everything you do and feel is connected to the world around you.



(*Right - saw a good friend from high school on Sunday. We spent several hours catching up at Mud coffee. I forget sometimes how wonderful it is to talk to someone from your hometown.)

It was a beautiful class, and I even ended up singing a little bit (very softly), and since then I've felt all the strength come back to me. The past two classes this week have been a blast, tough as usual, but the challenge is so welcome because I know it's for my improvement. And I'm already over half way done :)

Needless to say my inversion practice has also been suffering from all this running around. Not to mention this heat is definitely keeping me off my roof and just in front of my fan. But here's Monday's bandha + hollow back focused handstand.

This is a rush post, so I apologize if it's sloppy and not as well written as it could be, but I wanted to get some of my thoughts down before too many more days passed! And as proof of my busy-ness here are a bunch of pictures from the last four days. Hopefully I'll be posting again tomorrow! x

(* it was an incredibly beautiful weekend- a view from my favorite yoga spot <3)

Throughout my experience in yoga practice I have learned many things about myself and about exercise, and one of the most important of those lessons is has been that rest is just as important as the actual movement. It's similar to writing- editing is 50% of the work. Well in yoga, rest is 50% of the growth.

It took me a while to learn this. When I first started bikram I was so thirsty for a cleansing that I wouldn't stop. I couldn't stop. Not only was I going 3 times a week (which was a huge jump from doing absolutely none at all) but I was also biking all over the place. It was summer time and I can't even fathom how much sweat I dropped in those 5 months. I would wake up in the morning and just go go go- bike to work, stand on my feet all day, bike home, bike to yoga, eat, sleep, and repeat. There was down time, but it wasn't conscious down time. I clearly needed a change, and I grabbed it the second it came to me, but since I was not giving my body the rest it needed all the work eventually took it's toll on me. I remember there were days when I would wake up and think "I really don't want to go to yoga today- I'm so tired…" but I would go anyway. I got burnt out pretty quickly.

So after time away from the heated room, I began to slowly and naturally ease my way back into my hot practice, and this time around I can feel a dramatic difference. In between classes I allow major resting time. I rest not only for my body, but also my mind. I take calming showers, I make sure to eat fulfilling, nurturing food, and I give myself little treats here and there as little gifts. I listen to what my body is asking for, which is the best thing I think I can do. There is no torture involved, and there is no excessive pushing to do more than I can. I can feel myself getting stronger, more balanced, and more confident with each day- I can see it and feel it in my practice.



Rest is not being lazy or sluggish, and it's not a time to complain or criticize yourself for what you're not doing. It takes just as much consciousness and care as the physical exercise and it is active. It's the time you have to reflect on all the work you're doing and surrender to all the incredible benefits of that work. There is no growth in constant work- that's just robotic. But there is growth in reflective work, and without the down time we wouldn't be able to see just how far we've come since we started our journey.

And on that note, I have to say I got the some of the best sleep of my life last night, and I'm so ready to start into my second week of the 30 day challenge tonight! Between today and yesterday I feel like I've been giving myself a lot of free/fun/fluid time to do whatever I'm craving to do, which of course ends up with me playing around in poses/ in the kitchen/ with crafts :P My inversion challenge progression pictures are shown above (working on stag leg balances this week- and my handstand was held for a full 5 seconds today!!) and a few other things I got to do this weekend!

( *to the right- a strawberry + blueberry pie & a few apple turnovers | below my third tangram coaster - just one more to go!)

Due to yesterday being the 4th of July and all, I figured I could allow myself one day completely away from the lovely glow of my computer screen. So today's entry in another combo entry, but this time I think it works out appropriately.

Yesterday's class was one of two classes the studio held during the holiday, and because of the 30 day challengers it was packed. Feet were in faces, sweaty arms were constantly bumping each other, your neighbors breathing sounded like it was right next to your ear… I LOVE classes like that. Seriously. I always feel like there is so much energy in the room that it has to be a good time, and really no one can take themselves seriously when they're doing chaturanga into someone else's feet. Not to mention you have to get comfortable with one another- your space is going to get invaded and you gotta get comfortable with that, because the plus side is then you get to make friends.

Classes like that also require a lot of focus, which is something I'm not sure I realized until yesterday. The whole point is still to have a breathing/moving meditation with yourself in the company of others, so allowing the presence of the people around you to become secondary and not become a distraction is key. But that's tough when you're constantly worrying if you're going to accidentally hit the person next to you.

Tonight's class on the other hand was HOT- even hotter than the room with 30 or so people in it from yesterday. I haven't been in a room that hot since Bikram LES (or at least that's how I felt!), and surprisingly I totally dug it. There is a whole other challenge that comes up with heat, and it requires full mental control (or release depending on how you look at it) . I found at one point in the class that I really wanted to give up, but when I took a knee I realized I was breaking not because my heart was racing out of control, I couldn't find my breath, or I was feeling nauseous, but because I had literally just thought to myself "No way can I do this right now." But I totally could! The only thing stopping me was that I didn't think I could. So I took a deep breath and refocused. And for the rest of the flow series that's what I concentrated on. No mind, no thoughts, nothing. Just deep, long inhales and exhales. Feeling my heart pounding and feeling myself calming it with every breath and movement. And that's what yoga is about, and it was amazing.

The major lesson I learned between these two classes was a personal one. Yesterday's class I would normally consider rather "easy". It wasn't hot, the flow was relatively moderate, and we were given a pretty fair amount of breaks. However I also don't consider that I personally did "well" in that class. My breathing was uneven, it was hard for me to concentrate, and I definitely didn't push myself as much as I know I could have. 

Tonight's class however, I would definitely consider "hard" but I also feel I personally did really "well" and I believe it was because I was forced to concentrate because of the heat and it was easier because of there were fewer people in the room. Granted we all have our good days and bad days, and yesterday just could have been a bad day, but I also think that when I am given a certain type of challenge I will automatically want to live up to it, while when I'm given another kind of challenge I won't know what to do with it. But each class will present a different of challenge, and it's entirely up to me to face that challenge when it comes and get through it the best way I can, no matter the circumstances. Because that's what life is about, and when you do get through challenges you feel amazing.


So to make a long two days short (not really) that's been my double daily yoga dose. And as for my personal inversion challenge, day 4 and 5 were pinchmayurasana/forearm stand and a standard shoulder stand. The good news is I'm getting much better at my pincha!! Wall shmall, I'll straighten this sucker out in no time ;)

Reminiscent of a few years back, yesterday a good friend of mine accompanied me to yoga. And actually this particular friend is the reason why I practice yoga at all. I had been going through a time in my life where I was making choices based on nothing… perhaps they were based on my insecurities and were influenced by the people I was associating with, but I truly feel during this time I wasn't making conscious or thoughtful decisions. I was reactive in the worst sense of the word. Needless to say I was a bit of a wreck, treating myself very poorly and living off of coffee, cigarettes, alcohol, and very very little sleep.

I had heard of hot yoga and knew KNEW I would love it, but I had taken no steps to actually finding a class when this same friend of mine mentioned she was trying out bikram studios. My first class kicked my ass, but since I didn't really know what to expect, I had no expectations and I did pretty well. I felt incredible afterwards, as if I had just spent 2 hours with a soft scrub brush cleaning out my whole inner body. Although I loved what I had experienced, the chaos of college kept me from going to my next class for another three months. But the one I did go to was particularly fun. It was the night sweats class at Bikram LES, and between the pink lights and pumpin jams, somewhere I got hooked. I started going three times a week.

What was so wonderful about this time was that the transformation that I felt in myself was directly correlated to my dedication to yoga. I had just shaved off all of my bleach blonde curly locks (key sign for needed change!) and I felt like a totally different person. I was trying to figure out who that person was when bikram opened me up to the possibilities of who I could be. I found a trust in myself that never had before, and I started treating myself and my environment with love and consciousness. I quit my job, I stopped smoking, I started eating better, I was biking everywhere, and I felt amazing. I began exploring a stronger side of myself, and my weaknesses were dripping away with each class.

But as always life gets in the way of things we need sometimes and my senior year of college took me away from my steady practice. I had also reached a point where I didn't have the dedication for class anymore- I had thrown myself into this new world so quickly, and I think the exhaustion caught up to me. So I took a break- a break that felt like it was three years when it was only off and on through one.

And then I came back. Stepping into a hot room felt like coming home. There is a safety in the class, and I feel like I can open myself in ways that are unacceptable in the real world. Each person in the class is pushing and cleansing themselves with same strength and power, and the connection you feel to the people around you is a palpable and wonderfully fulfilling energy. It's one of my favorite places to be, and I'm so glad I'm back.