Another weekend past and another 4 days I've been too busy to blog! Oh well, I'm getting used to the three-entries-a-week routine. It's nice to recap several days of yoga versus every single day.
Days 19-22 taught me a few very interesting things about myself. I'm a worker, by blood, by habit, by everything and when I work I expect to see results and progress. I don't like to "move backward" because I feel like I'm losing valuable time that I could be using to keep growing.
(*Left - my best hollow back handstand to date! Below - a few bloopers. I tried to practice my pincha but it was so windy, no matter where I was on my roof!)
I know that sometimes in order to move forward in the best way we have to take a couple steps back because we may have started walking down the wrong path, or not the best path to get to where we want to go. But I have the hardest time remembering this in real life. I become extremely stubborn and I want to be able to perform at the level I've proven I can perform.
A couple months ago I over extended my upper hamstring right where it meets the back of my hip. It's not a serious injury, but it hurt (still does sometimes) if I sat for too long, or to stretch my hamstrings too deeply. I did a bunch of research and since hamstrings take so long to heal it could take months for this injury to feel completely normal again. The only thing I can do is take it easy. Which I did for a month, and when it started feeling a little better, of course I started stretching it the way I used to. Last Friday it hit me really hard that this injury was nowhere near healed and in fact I might have recently inflamed it more. I became extremely irritated by this, feeling like I couldn't practice fully and I wasn't receiving all the benefits I could be getting.
(*Right - our weekly produce from the community garden! With the mushrooms and the green beans I made a raw green bean casserole which ended up being more like a green bean salad with marinaded beans, mushroom sauce, dehydrated caramelized onions, and chopped almonds.)
Which is not the truth at all. I let this very impermanent injury get into my mind and control my thoughts to the point where I wasn't able to relax into meditation, which I could have done had I just accepted that I needed to back off. Instead of seeing it as an annoyance it is rather an opportunity not only to concentrate on other parts of the postures that need strengthening (and not put all the reliance into my legs!) but to also relax into the acceptance and know that this will all pass. My body will heal, and I will be completely fine through the healing process.
My body and my mind have clearly proven to me that they've been fighting for a while, and this challenge is helping to work out their issues and make them friends again. When my body speaks, I NEED to listen. It's imperative that I listen, because without it … well we all know where I'd be without it. And when my mind speaks I need to listen to it, but with awareness, because sometimes it's speaks out of an immediate defensive reaction versus a conscious, gut-reaction.
(*Right - just before my first pole dancing class which was a blast! Showin off my gunsss...)
So in conclusion, my goal this week is to try to see things differently. To not start with my mind and my developed opinions and judgements, but to try to come into each situation with completely open senses. To listen to all the signals my body is telling me and develop my opinions from those signals. If that means stepping back and having to start over for some things (whether physical or mental) then so be it. It's about conscious growth, not brute force.
Also, one last side note, something I researched recently was the time it takes to break a habit. Many studies say it takes 40 days to break a habit, 90 days to develop a new habit, 120 days to become the habit, and 1000 days to master the habit. I might be extending my 30 day challenge…