I've been wanting to write this post for days. I keep thinking about it, wanting to write it, and then getting caught up in something else- whether it be cooking, working, cleaning, anything- and it needs to be written! I feel like I'm at this really exciting mid-point in my practice where I can reflect on all the challenges I've encountered, and the distance I've covered just before I hit a major lift off point (aka teacher training!) which I know will be an incredible journey all in itself. But I want to take this time before training kicks in to really talk about progress, because it's taken me a long time to understand what progress really feels like, looks like- what it really means.

(*All photos go from left to right in progression- the earliest start in March 2013, the most recent are from today or yesterday)

It wasn't until a point a couple years ago did I start really understanding the importance of time with regards to progress. To be honest I think it really hit me when I decided (after shaving all my hair off) that I wanted my hair to grow out really long. It took years for it to grow out even to the length it was before I cut it all off, and during those years I would continually look in the mirror, pull on my hair, and think "just grow fasterrrr!" But of course it didn't. My hair took it's precious time growing out, torturing me through its phases along the way.

When I started up my yoga practice full force after a few years of it being off and on I made this decision to find a strength in my practice that I hadn't found before. I wanted to transform my body out of the stagnant shape that it had been in for so long, and release a lot of what was being held in me. I knew at the time about the scar tissue in my hips, I knew about how energy stores itself in pockets of the body, and I knew that unless I found a pattern of physical activity in my youth I might not find it later in my life (which I also knew is extremely important for mental and physical longevity). I was feeling weak in my body and in my spirit, and I knew that a consistent yoga practice would help to alleviate those dispositions.

So I jumped back into it. And I quickly learned that my body, just like my hair, requires its own time to strengthen and grow. I had to accept that nothing I could do would help my hair grow faster- it would have to grow in it's own time, and I inevitably had to accept this for my body as well.

Progress is not an instantaneous thing. Nor is it something that requires years and years (unless we really believe it needs to, or we're counteracting our own growth simultaneously). It is something that takes a little at a time, otherwise how would we be able to digest all the change all at once? Granted sometimes life will throw us curve balls and we'll have to adjust quickly and appropriately, but most of the time, for our own personal growth, we can only ask of ourselves to do a little more than we think we can each day.

The beautiful thing about yoga is that if you can't physically do something or go to a depth you want to go to that day, your body will make it VERY clear that it's not an option that day, and you become forced to accept that. The extremely important thing to take away from days like that, however, is not disappointment, or frustration, or excuses, but rather faith in oneself. Because even though we may not be able to do something one day doesn't mean we won't be able to do it the next day, or the next week/month/year as long as we have faith in ourselves ad our natural capacity for change.

In Anatomy of the Spirit there is a line that says: "Belief in oneself is required for healing." Belief is faith, and without faith in oneself we will be completely unable to overcome any obstacle in our way, whether we put it there for ourselves or not. Healthy progress, mentally and physically, requires a natural ease from one point to the next- no short cuts allowed. But the beautiful thing is that with all the time and energy we use comes an incredible satisfaction and fulfillment, because the results surprise us and excite us, and we begin to learn that it's not just the results that we're working for, it's the work itself.

When I was once in a really low place, where I was lost in my process and I didn't know if I could get to the other side, a person, not even that close to me, who I admired and looked up to sent me a message that contained, "Hold on tight. It's going to be okay. Live the question, ride the process, find solace in the unknown." And those words helped me more than I think this person realized. Because that's what matters- it's not the goal, it's the challenge. If we look only at the goal so far off in the distance it will seem impossible to get to that point, and we will likely lose our faith in ourselves, but if we look just a few steps ahead of ourselves, and work forward towards just those few steps, before we know it the goal is right in front of us. And we'll realize all those steps we took to get there were the guidance we needed to overcome our obstacle.

When I was ruminating about this subject of progress, a clip from one of my all time favorite movies popped into my head. Progress is not something that can ever be achieved alone, and more people than we realize contribute to our individual progress daily. Travis Birkenstock from Clueless describes it almost perfectly when giving this acceptance speech for accumulating the most tardies in his class. Just imagine him saying "progress" instead of "tardiness" and you'll see exactly what I'm talking about :)



And on that note- don't ever give up on yourself. Because if you keep working a little bit day by day towards what you're trying to achieve, eventually you'll get there, and you'll realize every step of your journey was a piece in the puzzle of that achievement. So enjoy the ride. x