I had a conversation with a client Wednesday- the day after my two day birthday hiatus- that included me telling her I was playing a little catch up on work since I had been out of the office. She responded by saying sometimes it doesn't seem worth it to take a vacation because of all the work that piles up. I have to say although I heartily disagree (I always welcome vacation!) it does make a difference when you get back to work- I didn't even realize I had missed 3 days of entries!! I've been so busy...

But as far as my classes at Sacred have been, these last three days have been a super fun triad. Wednesday was the nighttime Flow 75 (favorite standard), Thursday was Get Up Get Down - a flow class with inversion play (so much fun &so many laughs!) and tonight was the Hot Wind Down- a butt kicker and best way to end the week. I have so many thoughts to accompany these classes, but I guess I'll start with the little stuff.

Like the actual little stuff. This week has been interesting because not only have I been having tons of random flashbacks to movies, songs, and books that I haven't thought of since.. junior high? But I've also been dreaming about people who I haven't seen in years! I'm pretty sure that my practice is creating this a bit, allowing things to come up that haven't been thought of or have been pushed down for a long long time.

Why I'm convinced of this is because now that I feel like I have a little more control in class than I've had in the past, I've been able to pay attention to the smaller details of each pose- really deepening and tapping into my edge. This is a great feeling during class and I really feel like I'm connecting to new parts of myself I haven't connected to before, and I feel like I'm also accessing areas of my body that have been untouched for a very long time. All of these little areas have energy triggers and storage spaces that have held things in, and now I'm getting into those areas and doing a little cleaning.

Energetically it's thrown me just a bit. It's been several months since I've gotten emotional because of a class, and this time around I'm calm and concentrated-just trying to ride it out instead of holding on to whatever my body is trying to let go of. But I must say it's tricky sometimes just because my normal habit is to hold things in, focus on them… that line about beating a dead horse- well that's what I usually do with my emotions. I really make sure they're dead before I can walk away from them, and I'm trying so hard to not let myself do that anymore. We only hold onto the things we allow ourselves to hold onto- I don't want to hold onto 10 year old feelings and dispositions. It's not what I want to focus my energy on anymore.


Saying these things is easy, but actually doing them is another story, because it can be really scary to do new things with your emotions especially when they're deeply tied to long standing habits. A really really fun aspect of the Get Up Get Down class was that it really challenged us to face our natural fear of falling/being upside down. It's so funny- I think I had a major Batman moment. I didn't think I was afraid of being upside down, especially after all the falling I've been doing in my personal inversion practice (!!) but during class I caught myself being scared to do simple little things with my body that were geared towards really challenging that fear. And it wasn't until I accepted that I was scared was I really able to face it and work to release it.

I didn't necessarily feel it in class, but today in my pincha practice I was able to fully balance in the pose in a way I haven't ever before. I felt much more control, and it was because I knew I was scared, but I was okay with it. This, to me, was a perfect example of how to work through old emotional habits- the first step being able to see them objectively for what they are, accepting that they've been a part of you for a long time and still are, and then actively working to counter them. And it's not just an emotional process- it's mental, physical, and definitely requires faith (in whatever way that fits you).

So today when I went into class I thought to myself- today I'm going to focus more on these little things, and try to work through them, gain more from them, and release them to make room for more growth. I didn't push myself 100%, I probably could have gone to my edge a little more,  but I walked out feeling really good about how I did, and really good about myself. And that's all you can really ask for when you leave class- that you leave feeling better than how you went in.

It's been a very interesting 3 days- there has never been a class that hasn't taught me something, and I feel like this 30 day challenge is the express route. I still have a bunch of thoughts from these last few days, but considering this post is getting long enough as is, I guess I should stop before I play all my cards ;) I'll leave you with my headstand/ airplane dance pose. Until tomorrow x